Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
