I didn't shave. On purpose
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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