so let's talk penis.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
