someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
