It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
