Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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