I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
