that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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