trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and she was petting her beer can
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
