Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I want to be your penis for a week.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
