When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
