Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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