my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
