C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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