Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
