absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
