We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
