It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
