Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Who died my cat blue again?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
