I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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