I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
