I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
