Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
