So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
