So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
