you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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