Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
