listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
