Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
