idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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