i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Let's paint friendship bongs
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
