i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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