It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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