Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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