hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
porn star boner night. come get it.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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