I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
