It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
