Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
