so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
