I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
