I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
