I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hell yes lets make some ravioli
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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