I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
