just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
