he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
