Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
