Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
