With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
