Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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