M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Randomize
